365 Days of ABC's: 2012

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:16

Ever since I began my 365 Days of ABC’s, people have bombarded me with questions about it. Why are you doing that? What is it for? Is there any particular reason you’re doing it? Is it just about practicing photography...or is it something deeper than that?

And I’ve decided to answer these questions, with reasons for the ABC's, and lessons I've learned from them.

My Top 5:

#5) The One that’s Pretty Obvious

To capture the best years of my life in pictures! What other time in my life will I be able to stay out dancing until 2am, take a week-long trip to Paris, stand next to a real live elephant, or take random spur-of-the-moment road trips with friends? When else will I have the opportunity to live in a house with 3 awesome roommates, have photoshoots on a playground, whoop like crazy in the student section of Kyle Field, or share a pint of ice cream with a friend at 2:30am just because I can?

This season of life allows you to discover the person God is calling you to be in a radical way. It’s during these few years of college that you’re able to live without tons of obligations; you are a student, and although you may have a full schedule, you probably have more leisure time right now than you’ll ever have once you graduate and begin working.

Right now I only have to focus on 2 things: living for the Lord and being a full-time student. When else in my life will I be able to dedicate so much of my time to personal and spiritual growth without the responsibilities that come with marriage and children? Sometimes I feel like I just want to fast-forward and see what my life will be like in the next chapter of my life, but then I remember—God is working on me right now, shaping me into the person I need to be when that time comes. He’s not finished with me yet. There are so many things He wants me to see and experience and learn about before I’m ready to enter that new chapter, so I’m keeping my heart open and directing my vision upward so I don’t miss anything!

We all have to remember to take advantage of this time we’ve been given, and keep our minds and hearts open to receive anything the Lord wants to give us. He can present these gifts to us in many ways—even through experiences like taking a photo a day for an entire year. What I expected to be a collection of random memories turned out to be so much more. In the end, I learned that it really isn’t about the pictures. You’ll see what I mean.

#4) The One that Gets Below the Surface

This project has truly changed the way I live my life. I realize that I used to find much of my self-worth in productivity—in other words, I used to only consider my day well-spent whenever I was working toward a concrete goal. If I had a day full of studying, writing papers, going to classes and meetings, I would go to sleep with a smile on my face.

Not because I’m a workaholic, but because I had gotten SO MUCH ACCOMPLISHED! Everything was centered around accomplishing goals.

Which is not a bad thing…but clearly Jesus did not tell us to center our lives around productivity—He told us to center our lives around The Father and loving others. And I realized that when I would spend a day hanging out and talking with friends, I would lay in bed later at night and wonder why I hadn’t been “more productive” that day.

As if nurturing relationships with others isn’t “productive!”

So I found myself having an inner battle: why do I always desire productivity, even when I’m spending time with friends? Am I really that much of a Martha that I struggle to sit still and listen to others without milling about in the process? And how many times have I heard that we should imitate Mary? Why did I always feel like a “Martha” instead of a “Mary”?

While I always thought I had my priorities straight, who was I using as my level? Was I balancing my priorities based on what is valued by God…or what is valued by man?

I knew that I should do this project so that I could see what was most important to me—and where my priorities were—with a visual representation. By having one picture to represent each day for an entire year, I could see the things that I valued the most, and keep myself in check. I decided that this would be my new goal: to care more about nurturing my relationships with others than nurturing my GPA.

#3) The One that May Surprise You

I feel silly saying this, but I honestly feel like some people need to know this: I have some really, really bad days! I sometimes feel like I should write a disclaimer on my blog: “Objects on Screen are Not as They Appear.” Since I started this project on January 1st, 2011, I have had my fair share of trials. Believe it or not, my life is not all sunshine and daisies!

But the point of this project is to find the joy and seek out the beauty in each and every single day, even the most challenging ones.

I’ve been choosing to take my focus off of the times I’ve gotten upset, the time my right eye twitched for 6 days straight, and the nights that I’ve cried myself to sleep. In the past year, my heart has been broken. I’ve been overwhelmed to the point of tears. I’ve cried out to God in bewilderment. I’ve gotten frustrated over unromantic things like broken appliances, clogged sink drains, stubborn clothing stains, and things not turning out the way I planned. I’ve made a complete fool of myself. I’ve experienced loneliness, anguish, and the sting of loss.

But I’ve also celebrated, shared in other’s joy, and made some of the best memories of my life! In this year alone, I’ve been blessed with countless new friendships, amazing roommates, a beautiful Aggie Ring, and the opportunity to fly on an airplane for the first time and spend a week in Paris! I’ve danced in the rain and celebrated birthdays and homecomings and graduations and watched friends get engaged and married. I’ve spent nights singing at the top of my lungs, stargazing for hours, pondering life’s mysteries, crying tears of joy, and smiling blissfully under the peaceful moonlight.

Finding joy amidst pain, beauty in the unlikeliest places, and peace in the middle of a storm is a constant battle. Yet, we all need to seek out the beauty in our own lives –as imperfect as they all are. I’m just trying to remember what is important, and let go of what is not. I’m counting my blessings instead of my worries, and trusting God when all seems lost.

Although it may not always be easy to see, the joy, the blessings, and the beauty are there for us to find each day. We just have to adjust our eyes to see them.

#2) The One that Goes a Little Deeper

Another thing that I’ve heard is that thanksgiving is the key to joy. It seems so simple, really. But so often we struggle to maintain grateful hearts. We get so used to the comforts and gifts we’ve been given that we often forget just how lucky we are to have them! I wanted to find at least one thing to be thankful for every single day for a year, and I can honestly say that doing this has changed my vision. You really begin to see things differently when you’re looking for a reason to give thanks. Suddenly everything becomes a gift, and you realize how much God really does watch over, guide, and provide for his little sheep.

Occasionally I would have one of those days where nothing seemed to be going the way I planned. I would wake up feeling groggy, bomb a lab quiz I’d been studying for all week, spend several hours dissecting in a lab while trying to keep my breakfast down, leave the lab to realize it’s freezing cold and rainy (and of course I get soaked), and then get to the library to realize I’ve lost my glasses. You get the idea. Doesn’t seem like the best day.

But I’d constantly remind myself: thanksgiving is the key to joy. I would repeat this little phrase to myself many times, especially on days like this. And then I would remember: a college education is an enormous gift. Less than 7% of the world population holds a college degree—that certainly puts things in perspective. And I have such easy access to water and food, which I can get at the swipe of a plastic card. And hello, how much does our land need rain after the driest year on record? I should be wildly rejoicing at all of these gifts! Suddenly the same day that tempted me to complain became a day to be thankful for.

I learned firsthand that actually stopping to count your blessings every day helps you to fully receive God’s gifts. And by seeing everything as a gift, it becomes possible to find at least one every single day, although some of the best ones cannot be captured in photos.

#1) The One that Has Impacted Me the Most

Living fully in the present--making each day a celebration.

Before I began my ABCs, I lived my life as if I was waiting for it to truly begin.
I was waiting to feel complete. I felt like I was in this awkward, in-between stage of life where I wasn’t a kid anymore, but I also didn’t quite feel like an adult. My life would truly begin whenever I graduated, had a career, a wonderful husband, and sweet little babies to love.

Right?

I was always trying to live in the future instead of enjoying the present moment as a precious gift from God. I thought that by making sacrifices in the present, I could enjoy the future more when it came.

I basically had “therestimeforthatlater” syndrome. I turned down invitations to hang out with friends because I thought I needed to do my homework early and get a head start on a research paper. Instead of having fun and enjoying today, I would fixate on the future, and what needed to be done in order for me to be the happiest person I could be…tomorrow. There was plenty of time for fun later, right?

But what was I waiting for?

I realized that my life story is unfolding before my very eyes, and each day another page is written. How good would a story be if it skipped from “childhood” to “adulthood” without any suspenseful in-between section? This is an exciting part of the story! The part where pieces of the puzzle begin to come together and form something beautiful, even if I’m too blind to see it at the time. I needed to stop “waiting for life to begin”…and realize that it already has.

Each day is a new page of your life story. It is certainly a blessing to reflect back and see a photo for each of the Adventures, Blessings, and Celebrations that came with 2011. But in the end, it isn’t about the pictures. It is about making each day count. It is about looking for beauty and joy even when they are hard to find. It is about treasuring each day as a gift. It is about living fully, right where you are.

365 Days of ABC's

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

About the ABC's

Monday, January 2, 2012

Day 365

Day 364

Day 363

Day 362